Monday, February 26, 2007

to be or not to be

Quoting from 'K One' taiwanese drama--'Shakespeare says 'To be or not to be- tat's a question'...hmmz...yesh...right now i'm thinking...shld i be wat i'm now or not?

alright...i'm having only slightly low self-esteem again...aiyahz...probably u can guess wat i'm fretting over...yes..it's my weight lohz...weight is always a sensitive topic for me...though i was getting used to how ppl look at me...i cnt be bothered when young...but at this age now...image is impt cos ppl are practical...even myself...i tried to lose weight which i did last time...it was successful somehow...but wasnt near my ideal weight at all...but take one step at a time mahz...i got positive comments like...'wah...u lost weight lehz...' 'not bad arh...look prettier liaoz..' ermz...i'm flattered but deep down...i noe tat's juz encouragement...cos there's obvious long way to go....moreover...my bro became my standard bar...he's always getting the attention wherever he goes (not joking lehz!)...there's once someone said 'u & bro dun look alike lehz...one heaven, one earth arh...' obviously i noe where i belong....simply ouch....=)

had a nice talk with ong last sat on the bus...and i was practically laughing madly over her 'being stalked' experiences...so i began to envy her exciting life (though to her it's dangerous...hehez)...and blurted out my desire to be stalked ( which i think it's a bit stupid now...hehez...)....i noe it's kinda impossible cos i dun have the 'guy appeal'...maybe i appeal more to gals & children...hehez...then ong was saying i shld lose weight & become a pretty gal...but it's not easy...or else y ppl almost lose their lives juz to lose weight...never heard ppl suffering from gaining weight...furthermore...i got an almost unrealistic dream...is to find a guy who likes the simple me despite i'm fat...but as wat ong says is true...the world is practical lohz...haiz...

so i come to a conclusion...i'll lose weight for my own sake...but of cos...at my own pace (cos need to indulge sometimes mahz!)...i may even stay chubby (i prefer cute image) forever...but who noes one day i'll go into 'lose weight' frenzy? it's my life so it's up to me lohz...=P (haiz...but i really gained some kilos these days...CNY is always like tat!)

Juz now had a party at my house...some of my relatives came to watch lion dance during afternoon at my house...it's not bad though i almost went deaf by the drummings...had a fun time playing cards, singing & eating again...i juz love gatherings cos normally we only organise & plan during CNY...juz once a yr...so i had a fun time...

looking forward to genting cum cameron highlands trip with ong, hui & shawn...cos it's my first overseas trip with frens only...we can actually plan ourselves which is like sooo cool...maybe after gaining some experience travelling on our own without adults ( though we are considered young adults...) we can go further places like thailand, japan, korea or taiwan!!!! hehez...

enjoy the remaining days of CNY 2007!

tat's it at 1:18 AM

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